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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Mar 27, 2011 13:34:06 GMT -5
We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack (again)! So, Heds and I were on our Twitter last night (Twitter.com/HermsAndHeds . Follow us. We're funny). Anyway, we're on our Twitter and Heds decided to tell you guys THINGS about today's episode. She told you "I'm going to finish up by giving you a little bit of info about our next show. I hope it fits in one Tweet. OK, it's going to start with He-" Which I think was a little too much information. She got a little crazy there. So I'm sorry for that. We're crazy, but we probably shouldn't be THAT crazy.
Anyway.. On today's episode! Debates! Interviews! Reviews! Advice! Other exciting things!
We'll be right back... ]
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Post by hedwig123 on Mar 27, 2011 13:38:18 GMT -5
It is now time for a debate on our most important issue yet: Candy! Sour Patch Kids are better than Reese's. *Nods*
... I don't know how you can even PRETEND that's true. When I think of Reeses, I think of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Which are clearly infinitely superior to Sour Patch Kids.
What? Sour Patch Kids are sour and sweet and have funnier commercials than Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. They are clearly the better candy.
Reeses are CHOCOLATE. You cannot beat CHOCOLATE. Or random CAPITALIZATION, for that matter.
But they're chocolate with peanut butter in them. There are a MILLION other candies like that. Sour Patch Kids are ONE of a KIND. And more than one person can use RANDOM CAPITALIZATION. So HA.
MY CAPS LOCK IS MORE POWERFUL THAN YOUR CAPS LOCK. Oh, wait... Am I off topic? Whoops...
Anyway, Sour Patch Kids aren't ONE of a KIND. There are MANY other things that are sweet AND sour. Like sweet AND sour skittles. Besides, Chocolate just wins every battle by definition.
*Opens dictionary and looks up chocolate* Nope. Doesn't say so in the definition. Sour Patch Kids win!
*waves other Dictionary* See? It says HERE: Chocolate: noun. Def1: A very tasty piece of sugar Def2: Winner of all battles against other candy. See? Reeses WIN.
Is that the fake dictionary that told you Kevin was more adorable than Nick? Because CLEARLY it can't be trusted.
No. This is a DIFFERENT dictionary. But, FYI, the dictionary that told me Kevin was cuter than Nick was a LEGIT dictionary. It told us the TRUTH. *solemn nodding*
LIES!!!! *Timer dings* Out of time already? Darn. But Sour Patch Kids are still better than Reese's and Nick is still more adorable than Kevin. We'll be right back!
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Mar 27, 2011 14:02:38 GMT -5
And now we have... advice!
Question: My grandmother is coming for Christmas and she always brings her home made pickles for us to serve with dinner. Problem is they taste like gasoline. How can we get rid of them before we sit down to eat. She brings a dozen jars.
Answer: We'll, we're just a LITTLE late to actually help you with this. But I suggest blowing them up. But you didn't hear that from me, OK?
Question: I just watched that movie toy story and went home hoping the toys would not be were I left them, but they were still in the same spot.How do I make my toys come alive and play with me??
Answer: Douse them in pixie dust, then let them sit for 24 to 36 hours. They should come alive after that.
Question: Are you ever going to have animals on your show?
Answer: We already have... wait. What?
Question: I need revenge on my sister... what do you suggest?
Answer: You're going to need fireworks, a fuse, matches and Fritos. Legal says I can't tell you the rest, because they don't want your parents suing me for giving you ideas.
We'll be right back!
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Post by hedwig123 on Mar 27, 2011 14:09:29 GMT -5
My turn!
Question: My grandmother is coming for Christmas and she always brings her home made pickles for us to serve with dinner. Problem is they taste like gasoline. How can we get rid of them before we sit down to eat. She brings a dozen jars.
Answer: I'm confused. How does someone MAKE pickles???
Question: I just watched that movie toy story and went home hoping the toys would not be were I left them, but they were still in the same spot.How do I make my toys come alive and play with me??
Answer: Pffffft. They're already alive. They're just smart enough to remember to fall in the same spot they were in before you left. Isn't that obvious?
Question: Are you ever going to have animals on your show?
Answer: CHIHUAHUA! How many shows have you seen with a fire-breathing chihuahua? Hmmmmmm?
Question: I need revenge on my sister... what do you suggest?
Answer: Two words: Zombie. Apocalypse. I'll leave it up to you to determine what I mean by that.
We'll be right back--with Q&A!
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Mar 27, 2011 14:16:52 GMT -5
Now I have Q&A with you!
Question: Are you ever going on tour? That cannot be revealed... for security reasons. I don't want to compromise the government.
Question: Do you love your fans? We have fans? Cool! What was the question again?
Question: Who is your favorite Texas person? We'll, I've always thought Sam Houston was cool... Just kidding! It's Heds.
Question: How do you feel about Chihuahua? ... Clearly you don't watch the show if you have to ask that.
Question: Chocolate? Delicious Question2: Pickles Not so much
Question: who do you think REALLY wins the debates? I KNOW that I win the debates.. I just let Heds THINK she does.
*timer dings* We'll be right back with... something!
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Post by hedwig123 on Mar 27, 2011 14:21:16 GMT -5
Random analyzing time! (Don't worry, Herms is never doing it again.)
Ellen DeGeneres = Funniest. Woman. Alive. I first noticed Ellen on American Idol, which I first started watching because Joe Jonas was a guest judge (but that's a long story.) She was so funny, and so nice, that I felt compelled to watch her show. And she was so funny, and so nice on there that I felt compelled to YouTube some of her stand-up. And now she makes up about half of my favorite quotes on Facebook. Go Ellen!
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Mar 27, 2011 14:23:47 GMT -5
Now it is time for our segment called...
Herms Knows Everything
Because it was decided, on Twitter (ALL important decisions are made on Twitter) that I do, in fact, know everything. And, since I know everything, it was decided that I had to tell you the sad, ugly truth about something...
... They lied to you in third grade. Cursive is useless.
Call your therapist people, and try to deal with the LIES. In the meantime, I'll go get ready for the next segment.
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Post by hedwig123 on Mar 27, 2011 14:32:44 GMT -5
And now, something we've never done before--CD reviews! I am reviewing Speak Now by our beloved Taylor Swift. The CD starts off with "Mine", the first single and possibly the best Swifty song EVER. If you've ever heard "Love Story", picture that--but more realistic. Personally, I'm obsessed with it. Other notable songs include "Back to December" (a sweet, sad, apology song reportedly about Taylor Lautner), "The Story of Us" (a break-up song that's really more of an "I miss you" song), and "Better Than Revenge" (I have never heard another song with as many pay-off lines as this one.) Really, though, EVERY track is memorable, and Speak Now is Taylor Swift's best work yet. And, considering her last album won Album of the Year at the Grammys...
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Mar 27, 2011 14:38:44 GMT -5
NOW I am going to review Selena Gomez's most recent CD "A Year Without Rain" for you. I think she should re-title it "Really Long Drought", personally. But that's just me. Anyway, "A Year Without Rain" is REALLY good. It's definitely a slightly more mature sound than Selena's debut album "Kiss and Tell". The first track, Round and Round, as well as the title track, are both catchy songs that I recommend. Some of my favorite songs are "Sick of You" (A really, really, catchy breakup song), "Ghost of You" (... I can't describe this one. It's about moving on and healing, even when someone's haunting you.) and "Spotlight". While many of the tracks are your average pop tracks, that doesn't change the fact that they're GOOD pop tracks, which is more than can be said for SOME of the stuff on the radio these days. I can't wait to see what Selena does on her third album (out sometime this summer, I can't remember when)
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Post by hedwig123 on Mar 27, 2011 14:43:30 GMT -5
IT'S TIME IT'S TIME IT'S TIME IT'S TIME IT'S TIME!!!!!!!! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the wonderful, sweet, funny, awesomeistic, talented, JONAS BROTHERS!*Five minute standing ovation from imaginary audience*You know what's going to be fun now, imaginary audience? Let's see if Heds' becomes SPEECHLESS again. (All three of them) Hello, everybody! *Shakes hands with H&H**Stares at own hand* This is actually happening. OK, so, first question... uh... Nick, do you have a girlfriend?! I mean... no, actually, I mean that. Nick, do you have a girlfriend?Nick: You two get right to the hard questions, don't you?Don't pay attention to her. She KNOWS you're already married.All three: WHAT?!What? I said, she already knows that you're single. Joe: I guess we all misheard. All three of us. Yeah.Joe, when's your album coming out?Joe: *Grins* Not telling yet.*miffed* Well, then. Kevin, did you see our last episode?Kevin: Yes, indeed. And I agree with your arguments. *grins*Too bad Herms lost because she used a fake dictionary. Nick, did you see it?Nick: Yes I did. And I really think you won, Heds.I always win.Pfffffffft. Everyone knows I won. *high fives Kevin* So... Joe... Joe: *nervously* Yes?*Herms' cell phone goes off. The ringtone is a Taylor Swift song* Well.. This is awkward.Very awkward. But we still love you, Joe! *Heds' cell phone goes off. The ringtone is a Demi Lovato song.* We really should have turned these off.Well, at least my ringtone wasn't Forever and Always! That would have been even MORE awkward. Nick: That's true.
Kevin: Look, a squirrel!What? Who let a squirrel in our studio? We're firing the animal control guy. The only animals allowed without an invitation are dogs who set Herms on fire.Arf!Oh, My God. Can I not have ONE episode where that stupid chihuahua DOESN'T set me on FIRE?!Joe: Apparently not.The fans demand it. At least it's never set you on fire during the interview before. Now THAT is mixing it up!Nick: You know, I never thought I'd get to see this in person.Woof!*grins* Heds... I have news for you...
*Chihuahua opens mouth*
...You have the wrong Chihuahua!
*Chihuahua breaths out water, completely dowsing everyone**Grabs towel* You know, I think the fire is funnier. But anyway, back to you three- *Timer dings* NOOOOOO!*mutters: of course you do*. Heds! *whispers* *Heds is speechless* *Both of us GRIN*We'll see you next time on Herms the Angel and Heds the Wonderful! *Ninjas hired in the last three seconds descend from ceiling to kidnap JB* Yes! *Ninjas, H&H, JB, and Chihuahua leave, three against their will*
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