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Post by hedwig123 on Dec 16, 2010 17:59:42 GMT -5
WELCOME TO THE SECOND EPISODE OF THE SECOND SEASON OF H&H! On tonight's episo--AH-AH-CHOO! Sorry. I caught a cold going around my school. So, as I was saying, on tonight's episode, we have: -Two very special guests -One of my famous lectures *Cough* -A debate AND random analyzi-i-AH-CHOOOO!
Erm. We'll be right back. *Remaining executive producers rush out to give Heds ibuprofen*
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Dec 16, 2010 18:04:10 GMT -5
*Herms runs on stage* I'm sorry I'm late! I'm here now! *breathes hard* OK, so today Heds and I are debating awesome TV shows. Let's start by recognizing our favorite show, JONAS, which is no more. Stupid disney executives.JONAS was hilarious, nominated for an Emmy, and an excuse to stare at them for thirty minutes. Stupid, STUPID Disney executives.We should fire them! Oh wait, they don't work for us. Never mind.... Anyway I, personally, am currently in love with Wizards of Waverly Place. That show's hilarious.WOWP IS hilarious. But personally I prefer Hannah Montana, which I am sad to report is ending very, very soon. I thought it had already ended... lol. She already told everyone about her dual identity thing. I saw that episode.Yeah, I don't know what comes next. But the finale is apparently next year. *Shrugs* Did you see the Sonny With A Chance Holiday Special? Yes. Yes I did. For those of you who didn't I have two words: Joe Jonas. It was awesomeI have a few more words: Joe Jonas as a Christmas present. Yeah. It WAS awesome. So where does the "debate" part come in if we pretty much agree about all the shows we watch???I guess I give you a heart-attack by announcing I hate JONAS? *thinks* No. I can't do that. What would you say if I decided I hated Sonny With a Chance?I would die, Herms. Is that what you want?It would be good for ratings... *Gasp* HERMS!Just kidding! Man, it's hard to debate when we agree. *timer dings* We'll be right back with analyzing from Heds!
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Post by hedwig123 on Dec 16, 2010 18:30:47 GMT -5
And now it's time for the first random analyzing of the season!
In regards to the Twilight vs. Harry Potter debate, I think the whole thing's ridiculous. Twihards think Potterheads are literary snobs and Potterheads think Twihards are all insane fangirls. I quite enjoy BOTH series... so I suppose that makes me... open-minded? I hope? Seriously, even I look tame next to some of these people who's life's mission is to prove that their series is the best. I just like reading.
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Dec 16, 2010 18:32:25 GMT -5
You know what we're doing tonight? Harry Potter Matchmaker! How this works is I'm going to pull random names out of my trusty baseball cap. Then I'm going to pull out a secondary character, two jobs, two title words and two plot points. I know, it sounds confusing. You'll see how it works.
"Foolish Hearts," An uptight professional with no social skills, Luna Lovegood, and her shrink, Neville Longbottom, fall in love after pretending to be married as a favor to Luna's best friend, Draco Malfoy. Plausibility: 0. Can you see Luna as an uptight professional? Or Neville as a shrink?
"Burning Romance," A chef, Lily Potter (the second), and her competitor, Lysander Scammander, fall in love after witnessing Lysander's best friend, Rose Weasley, robbing a bank. Plausibility: 1. On the one hand, I suppose Lily and Lysander are TECHNICALLY possible. But can anyone see Rose robbing a bank? It's totally Scorpius using polyjuice potion or something.
"Passion Train," An undertaker, Hermione Granger, and her free spirited accountant, Draco Malfoy, fall in love after daring each other to go on 20 blind dates. Plausibility: 0. Malfoy, a free spirited accountant? Hermione, an undertaker? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Right.
"Hating Airplanes," An up-and-coming interior designer,Lily Evans, and her boss, Severus Snape,fall in love after getting snowed in somewhere quaint but wacky. Plausibility: 4. I find it ironic I pulled these two together. We know Snape always had a thing for Lily, and she did like him. The only part I have trouble with is the getting snowed in somewhere 'quaint but wacky'. I don't think Snape goes for quaint.
"Central Love," A reporter, Rose Weasley, and her irritatingly perfect neighbor, Albus Potter, fall in love after running for office against one another. Plausibility: -100,000,000,000. They're cousins, people. That's gross.
And that's it for Harry Potter Matchmaker, folks! We'll be back again sometime soon, I hope.
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Post by hedwig123 on Dec 16, 2010 18:38:25 GMT -5
Ladies and gentleman of the imaginary audience, we finally convinced him to come back on the show by swearing we wouldn't kidnap him again... please welcome DUMBLEDORE!
It's nice to see you again, Heds. And I thought you said that it was someone else who kidnapped me.
That's what I meant. Haha. So, Dumbledore, what are you here to discuss today?
I'd like to discuss the opportunities of more Harry Potter books. Honestly, I think everyone would be dead bored reading a story about me--
Tell me you're kidding.
--but I think JK Rowling should give Sirius or Remus a chance to tell their story, don't you? Or Severus.
I agree completely! So, J.K. Rowling, if you're watching this, even Dumbledore wants more books. Listen to Dumbledore.
We'll be right back!
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Dec 16, 2010 18:40:48 GMT -5
And now it's time for *evil laughter* ADVICE!!!!!
Q: I will soon be going home for the holidays and there will be a round of parties to attend. My problem is my face looks a bit thinnish, like someone slammed it in a door. Do you have a tip for making my face look fatter? Thank you.
A: Ahh, this is a common problem. Two words: cotton balls. Put them in your cheeks. It'll make talking a pain, and they'll taste awful, but it will help. Or, you could try flattening your face the other way, to even things out. I'm not sure how you would do that... Hmmm. I'll have to test ways to do that!
Q: My father snores so loud that nobody can sleep. What should I do?
A: Simple. Pour water on him every time he snores! That way he won't be sleep either. If at all possible blame it on a sibling(s). It's so much more fun that way.
Q: My 4-H leader is old and kind of crazy. I'm the secretary, so I have to take the minutes, but she always corrects them. The problem is that she corrects them wrong. What do I do?
A: In this day and age the elderly really get no respect. *humph*. Just amend the minutes to what she says! She's the 4-H leader, you should listen to her. Duhhh.
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Post by hedwig123 on Dec 16, 2010 18:45:07 GMT -5
My turn!
Q: I will soon be going home for the holidays and there will be a round of parties to attend. My problem is my face looks a bit thinnish, like someone slammed it in a door. Do you have a tip for making my face look fatter? Thank you.
A: ... you want to know how to make your face look fatter? Seriously??? Herms, I don't think this is a common problem. You've both lost your minds.
Q: My father snores so loud that nobody can sleep. What should I do?
A: Move out.
Q: My 4-H leader is old and kind of crazy. I'm the secretary, so I have to take the minutes, but she always corrects them. The problem is that she corrects them wrong. What do I do?
A: This problem sounds very familiar. I would recommend the fanfic "Insanity The Way To Survival," written by Bookie, to help you solve this.
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Dec 16, 2010 18:46:18 GMT -5
Team Chihuahua!
Why join Team Chihuahua?
He tortures Herms! He sets her on fire! He's awesome! Need proof? He is small and cute, but secretly lethal. That's pretty awesome, folks. Besides, if you join Team Chihuahua he'll set Herms on fire again. Everyone wants that, right? This advertisement sponsored by the executive producers
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Post by hedwig123 on Dec 16, 2010 18:52:25 GMT -5
How To Use A Cell Phone
1. First, make sure you are holding the cell phone correctly. If you are hearing noise down by your cheek, you are holding it incorrectly. If you are being shocked by your cell phone, you have somehow put a metal wire in the battery charger and then touched it. This is also incorrect.
2. While texting, a full keyboard is preferable, but if you don't have one, make sure you know which number goes to which letter. If you don't, it could lead to embarrassing lypos.
3. Last but not least, do not lose your cell phone at an out-of-town academic competition. That would be... bad. Yeah. Trust me on this.
And we'll be right back!
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Post by Hermione_is_cool! on Dec 16, 2010 18:54:56 GMT -5
And now we're back with our special guest star... Please help me welcome, Narcissa Malfoy! *applause*
Thank you, Herms. It's nice to be here.
We're so glad you came! So tell us, Mrs. Malfoy, why is it that you never became an official Death Eater, like your sister and your husband?
Well, it just didn't appeal to me as much as it did them, I suppose. I was too focused on the little details.
Mmm. Little details? Like being tortured by Voldy the Baldy if you annoyed him?
...Well, yes. That too.
That seems like kind of a big detail to me.
Me too. But on to the next question: What inspired you to help Harry Potter at the final battle?
Honestly? Finding my son.
Why he's kind of a- *Heds kicks Herms* OW! I mean, um, that's so sweet. Next question! How are things going for you in the aftermath of the war?
Quite well, actually. We're redecorating. We had to import new peacocks, but that's been the only major inconvenience.
*gasp* How tragic!
*Warning look at Herms* Alright, last question: Is it true that your grandson went to Ravenclaw, not Slytherin?
Yes.
And how do you feel about that?
No comment.
You don't get to not comment on our show. It's against the rules! *timer dings* Eh.. Well.. We'll let it slide this time.
We'll see you next time on Herms the Angel and Heds the Wonderful!!!
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